Signa Teach

Last night I was working on the computer at the kitchen table and the kids were playing school, which is one of the favorite things they play together. It's funny to listen to Signa playing school, since she really has no concept of school. Below is the documentation of what I saw and heard.

William, come here for your glasses. You usually don't have to wear them because you don't have to see much, but at school there is a lot to see.

[She puts fake bright blue play glasses that she got in a doctor kit on William.]

Now let's pack your chicken soup and water for lunch. Time for the bus!

[They run to the sofa and use it as the bus. She sees me watching and yells over-- from the bus---.]

I signed him up yesterday and today is his first day! The bus goes clippity clop clippity clop

[She makes horse galloping sounds].

Okay, Will. We are here. Don't forget to bring Teddy in case there is scary stuff. And Spider Girl. Here. Put all of it in your cubby.

[She tells him to get it and then grabs it away and puts it on a chair, which is apparently the cubby. William throws a tantrum on the floor because his toys got taken away. She gets him calm enough to where she can talk over his yelling.]

Are you ready for school, Will?

[William yells NO at her and cries. She calms him again, but still doesn't give him the stuff back from his "cubby". She leads him to the child sofa. William is pissed off and angry and so I interrupt by asking what happens next.]

I put him in his seat and lock him up.

[I argued that this wasn't right and she couldn't lock up her brother but she elaborated.]

I lock him up with a pillow so that it's like a real school desk. Then we sing the alphabet song.

[She pauses as she's fiddling with a blanket and she looks down at it]

But first I have a cast.

[She wraps the blanket around her arm and holds her arm with gentle hurt]

Now we sing the alphabet song and then it's time to put William to bed. There is no eating in there, either!

[She throws a pillow on Will's lap, grabs his cup from him, and stands in front of him. Then she does what looks like a potty dance and starts singing]

"A" is the letter we learn today.
"Ah" is the short sound that A says.
1 is the day today ay ay and
there is a student that's 2 today
so the letter isn't 1 today it's 2 2 2 today.

[She stops singing and potty dancing and puts her hands on her hips at Will.]

Okay, Will! You can't get out yet. You can do recess now. Get your chicken noodle soup.

[William is irritated and annoyed and runs to me for a kiss and then a tantrum.]

You can eat here right now. Here, Will! Here!!! You need to just call me Signa Teach. Will!!! Come over here!

[Will walks into a chair trying to avoid Signa Teach and says, "Owie!!!" He yells a lot and Signa yells a lot and then she kisses his hand.]

All better, Will. Okay, Will. Bring your teddy and march to the kitchen for a picnic. Will, it's time to eat.

[Will starts yelling, "NO! Have one home! Have one home!" He is clearly done with playing school. He pours himself onto the floor face down and says, "No glasses. No! Have one home!" and takes the glasses off and gives them to Signa.]

No, Will. You have to go back on the bus so that you can go home and go to bed after you read Junie B. Jones and Magic Tree House.

[Will is way past done and is having no part of anything other than he wants those toys out of the cubby. Now. I tell Signa that I think he doesn't really like to play with so many rules.]

Okay, Will! No rules then! Come on! Let's play with no rules and have fun, okay? No rules, Will! Let's have fun!

[She talks to him like he's a small dog. Will puddles in a heap of a mess screaming, "No! No rules!!! No rules!!! Have one home!!!]

End scene.