Minty Fresh

To start today’s update I will tell you about our drive home last night. Actually, how about I just tell you what I heard:

Signa: Daddy, are those mints?!? Can I have one?
Will: Me, too! I want one, too!
Daddy: No these aren’t mints, but I have mints. Here you go. (he passes one back for each kid)
Me: What are they if they are not mints? (I start to look at the other container)
Marc: Gum.
Then I had an inner dialog about how I thought he wasn’t going to chew gum any more because it kept pulling off crowns. I then debated saying something or not saying something. Right around the time I decided not to say anything because if gum could pull it off, anything could, I heard in the very tippy back part of my brain, “I put it in my nose!” I continued thinking that if gum would pull off a crown, so would marshmallows or rice crispie treats and really, if they were so weak as to have gum pull them off then why didn’t they instruct you to not eat gum? Or marshmallows or rice crispie treats. And what about jujubes. Those were the stickiest hardest things EVER.
Marc: YOU PUT WHAT IN YOUR NOSE?!?!?!
Me: WHAT?!??!

So yes, William put the mint in his nose because Signa put hers BY her nose and he thought she put it IN her nose and that it was funny. Then he found that it wasn’t funny because, “I PUT THE MINT IN MY NOSE AND IT’S STUCK AND NOW I’M GOING TO DIE, MOMMA!” We pulled over on the side of the freeway and I tried to make him blow it out, but to no avail. We kept driving and I checked Doctor Internet. I found not fewer than six other kids who put mints up their nose. Two went to the emergency room, but it dissolved before they saw a doctor. All six were just fine. One was a Junior Mint and it was an adult talking about why they don’t like mint and chocolate mixed together any more, but I’m still counting it.

William will be just fine, even though his snot will be minty fresh for a few days.

Right?