Why religion doesn’t work so great in our house

Why religion doesn’t work so great in our house:

Us: Some people believe that when you die, you come back as something else.
Signa: Yeah, like a ghost.
Us: (stifling a giggle) No, like other things.
SIgna: Oh, like zombies!
Us: (barely holding back) No, more like cows and cats and dogs.
Will: When you are a dog, Momma, you are going to bark and I’m going to spank you.
Us: -------(silently start William’s future therapy fund)
Us: Other people think that when you die you go to heaven.
Signa: (with joy and excitement) OR HELL!!!!
William: Or DAMMIT!!!!!